Is This A Scam?

It was Thursday morning, and I was lying in bed, trying to figure out where I was. I knew it was Thursday, because I was wearing my Thursday underpants, which I religiously put on every Wednesday morning and would usually wear for about 24 hours or so. I also knew I hadn't been to Asoka the previous night, as I still possessed my legs, and they usually go missing for a while whenever I pay Asoka a visit.

I was just about to miss call The Girlfriend - I don't believe in sending "Please Call Me's" - when she mozied in gracefully, like a luxury yacht entering the V & A Waterfront harbour on a chilly Autumn's day. She had redecorated the place again, something she is fond of doing, and which was what caused my initial disorientation.

Why am I telling you this? I'm not sure. I've always been lead to believe that one needs an introduction to a story, before getting to the meat of the situation. It's like hooking up with someone at a nightclub, and telling them that you "love" them. You can't pull shit like that. As everyone knows, you need to first take them out to dinner and sleep with them at least twice before saying something like that. Don't jump the gun, slide things in slowly, or you will be very sorry my friend. Very sorry.

Anyhoo, what was I saying? Jesus, I've just gone and lost my train of thought.

Oh yes, just then my cellular phone received something through it's "short message service", or "sms", as these clever tech guys like to say.

JAPAN INTERNATIONAL MOTORS SHOW: you have
won a Toyota Landcruiser vx,
worth $92,500 in AFRICA promotions
held in Nairobi - Kenya.
Details call + 254737060419

Now, as far as I know, I didn't enter any motor show competition in Japan. Or anywhere else in fact. However, I have been known to temporarily go out of character and do things which I later cannot recall, like the time I won the Mr Clifton competition, or when I did that presentation to the local portfolio committee in parliament.

Basically, I can't remember ever doing this, and curiosity is now getting the better of me. Sure, I already own a car (the fastest car in Cape Town), but I don't own a Toyota Landcruiser, and it's something I wouldn't mind getting my unnervingly long fingers on. It's an international number though, and The Girlfriend has barred me from dialing international numbers, ever since the whole "Spicy Hot Line" debacle, which I maintain was an honest mistake, as I was actually just trying to order some Tikka chicken, as one does on a Friday when you're bored and all alone.

So here's the thing - is it a scam? Did I unknowingly enter a competition and win myself a car? This is a job for YOU out there. Phone the number and find out what it's all about. If I did in fact earn myself a motor vehicle, we can chat about it and maybe arrange joint custody or something. I'm pretty open-minded when it comes to this sort of thing.

Find out for me and let me know. Class dismissed.



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