10 January, 2007
The Food Company In Gardens Centre
Annoys Shaun With Three Instances Of Bad
Three Strikes And You're Gone, Mate.
After doing my Sunday shopping for extra large condoms at Gardens
Centre in the city, I enjoy nothing more than parking off
somewhere and having a little nibble. This would usually mean grabbing
a table at the Food Company, on the 2nd floor next to Creme. Incidents
over the recent holiday season however, have lead me to re-evaluate
Incident 1 - The Newspaper Debacle
The Girlfriend and I had ordered breakfast. I enquired from the
waitress whether I could get the Sunday Times, which is normally
kept aside for me, as I'm terribly important. "Someone is reading
it." she said whilst cowering - keeping her head bowed and
avoiding eye contact, for fear of being turned into a pillar of
salt - "but I can go and buy you one".
"What a lovely waitress," I thought, and made a mental
note to leave her a good tip, as well as a bottle of pure greatness,
something I exude whenever I exercise or do anything strenuous.
Minutes passed, and I began getting impatient, agitating over what
news and current events awaited me. Eventually I hurled a pork sausage
at her, temporarily blinding her but serving to grab her attention
and leading her to return to our table.
"Newspaper?" I enquired with an irritated tone, her one-eyed
expression beginning to annoy me as she now resembled a cyclops.
"Yes, I'm going to get it for you right now," she said,
seemingly forgetting that this promise had already been made.
Minutes passed again, our bill arrived, but alas, my f**king Sunday
Times didn't - the waitress shrugging and saying she forgot for
the second time. Don't bother offering then next time, if you have
no intention of getting it for me.
Incident 2 - The Vanishing Waitress
The Girlfriend and I arrived to have a quiet coffee, and talk about
how great my hands and feet were looking. Our waitress in question
took forever to give us our menus, then take our orders, and then
finally get our bill.
Towards the end we had to grab the attention of the manager, which
we achieved by constructing a crude loudspeaker out of the plastic
spoons and sugar sachets. Basically this waitress forgot we were
there, which really pissed me off because I certainly wasn't invisible.
Not on that day at least.
Incident 3 - The Self Service Episode
A few days after, The Girlfriend sat at a table after a few hours
of Christmas shopping. And sat. And sat. No one came to serve her,
and eventually she upped and left.
That's three instances of shoddy service over the
course of about ten days.
Seriously, the service at The Food Company leaves a lot to be desired.
Besides that, they also have a nasty tendency to play one song over
and over. And over.
The food there is pretty good but it's VERY annoying trying to enjoy
your poached egg whilst listening to Brian McKnight's "Back
At One" for the 13th time.
Not good enough guys, time to crack the whip with your staff.
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