The Food Company In Gardens Centre

After doing my Sunday shopping for extra large condoms at Gardens Centre in the city, I enjoy nothing more than parking off somewhere and having a little nibble. This would usually mean grabbing a table at the Food Company, on the 2nd floor next to Creme. Incidents over the recent holiday season however, have lead me to re-evaluate things.

Incident 1 - The Newspaper Debacle
The Girlfriend and I had ordered breakfast. I enquired from the waitress whether I could get the Sunday Times, which is normally kept aside for me, as I'm terribly important. "Someone is reading it." she said whilst cowering - keeping her head bowed and avoiding eye contact, for fear of being turned into a pillar of salt - "but I can go and buy you one".

"What a lovely waitress," I thought, and made a mental note to leave her a good tip, as well as a bottle of pure greatness, something I exude whenever I exercise or do anything strenuous. Minutes passed, and I began getting impatient, agitating over what news and current events awaited me. Eventually I hurled a pork sausage at her, temporarily blinding her but serving to grab her attention and leading her to return to our table.

"Newspaper?" I enquired with an irritated tone, her one-eyed expression beginning to annoy me as she now resembled a cyclops. "Yes, I'm going to get it for you right now," she said, seemingly forgetting that this promise had already been made.

Minutes passed again, our bill arrived, but alas, my f**king Sunday Times didn't - the waitress shrugging and saying she forgot for the second time. Don't bother offering then next time, if you have no intention of getting it for me.

Bitch.

Incident 2 - The Vanishing Waitress
The Girlfriend and I arrived to have a quiet coffee, and talk about how great my hands and feet were looking. Our waitress in question took forever to give us our menus, then take our orders, and then finally get our bill.

Towards the end we had to grab the attention of the manager, which we achieved by constructing a crude loudspeaker out of the plastic spoons and sugar sachets. Basically this waitress forgot we were there, which really pissed me off because I certainly wasn't invisible. Not on that day at least.

Incident 3 - The Self Service Episode
A few days after, The Girlfriend sat at a table after a few hours of Christmas shopping. And sat. And sat. No one came to serve her, and eventually she upped and left.

That's three instances of shoddy service over the course of about ten days.

Seriously, the service at The Food Company leaves a lot to be desired. Besides that, they also have a nasty tendency to play one song over and over. And over.

The food there is pretty good but it's VERY annoying trying to enjoy your poached egg whilst listening to Brian McKnight's "Back At One" for the 13th time.

Not good enough guys, time to crack the whip with your staff.



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