28 January, 2008
Shaun Is Mugged In Broad Daylight.
At The V & A Waterfront In Cape Town.
An Identikit Of The Robber.
was a warm and balmy Sunday afternoon, and the Pick n Pay in Gardens
Centre had run out of the extra large condoms I
hold so dear to my heart.
"How could this be? Who else could be making use of these 3-foot
long sheaths?" I wondered aloud, but decided to leave it at
that - there was no use crying over spoilt milk.
I NEVER cry over spoilt milk - I cried over spoilt soup once, but
that's because I was REALLY looking forward to it, and was already
feeling quite emotional at the time, as I had just had my teeth
Anyhoo, the purchases still needed to be made, and so I decided
to head off to the V & A Waterfront, which is situated at the
Waterfront, in Cape Town. Having popped into the Pick n Pay there
and got my stash, I headed back to the car and nervously inserted
my ticket into the machine, like a sweaty young virgin entering
his first vagina.
I had heard bad things about the Waterfront parking system,
and was slightly apprehensive that I would also be a victim. Lo
and behold, I got hit from behind with a heavy blunt object, as
the digital screen looked at me and said "Howzit".
R50 for a parking ticket?
That's like half a day's wage whilst working on the cotton fields.
And the parking bay in itself was kak. I parked in what smelt like
human wee. I even got down on the ground to confirm that it was
in fact, wee.
It WAS in fact, wee.
My tyres are now smelling like urine.
Is that what I paid for?
To have my car smelling like piss?
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