Shaun Is Mugged In Broad Daylight.

It was a warm and balmy Sunday afternoon, and the Pick n Pay in Gardens Centre had run out of the extra large condoms I hold so dear to my heart.

"How could this be? Who else could be making use of these 3-foot long sheaths?" I wondered aloud, but decided to leave it at that - there was no use crying over spoilt milk.

I NEVER cry over spoilt milk - I cried over spoilt soup once, but that's because I was REALLY looking forward to it, and was already feeling quite emotional at the time, as I had just had my teeth bleached.

Anyhoo, the purchases still needed to be made, and so I decided to head off to the V & A Waterfront, which is situated at the Waterfront, in Cape Town. Having popped into the Pick n Pay there and got my stash, I headed back to the car and nervously inserted my ticket into the machine, like a sweaty young virgin entering his first vagina.

I had heard bad things about the Waterfront parking system, and was slightly apprehensive that I would also be a victim. Lo and behold, I got hit from behind with a heavy blunt object, as the digital screen looked at me and said "Howzit".

R50 for a parking ticket?

That's like half a day's wage whilst working on the cotton fields. And the parking bay in itself was kak. I parked in what smelt like human wee. I even got down on the ground to confirm that it was in fact, wee.

It WAS in fact, wee.

My tyres are now smelling like urine.

Is that what I paid for?

To have my car smelling like piss?



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