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The Legend Of Kurt Darren

15 November, 2007

"Traiding" - A Verb Meaning "Acceptable Drinking"

At Least, I HOPE That's What It Means

Whilst scratching around Woolworths in Canal Walk, looking to haggle some red wine and paint thinners, I spotted this lovely little sign above the chocolate liquors, which incidentally tastes like crap.

The chocolate liquors.

Not the lovely little sign.

Why would I know what the lovely little sign tastes like? What the f**k is wrong with you?

Seriously. You're playing the fool today, I don't know what's gotten into you. One day of rain and now you're acting like a I took a dump on your chest. It's not cute, get over it already.

Anyhoo, I digress, let's have another look at that lovely sign.

Wine Traiding Hours
Wine Traiding Hours

Now this being Woolies and all, I'm not going to immediately jump to conclusions. I mean, I COULD say that this sums up their overall lack of quality control lately, judging by the horrible strawberries I keep purchasing, which goes off after 36 hours. (Last week they literally jumped out the box and told me they were heading off to Asoka for some mojitos.) Yes, I COULD say I'm better off buying from that dodgy gangster-looking guy on the corner of Orange Street.

But no, I'm not going to do that. He looks scary, and I'm not willing to wet myself again.

I can thus only assume that "Traiding" is a verb meaning "acceptable drinking" times, as that WOULD make sense then.

As far as I'm aware, you ARE allowed to drink wine during the week from 9 in the morning till 8pm, after which you are legally obliged to switch to Hansa Gold for the duration of the evening.

I do recall reading this somewhere, it could have been the Argus, it was most likely the Mail and Guardian though.

This law is of course similar to the recent proclamation handed down by Judge President John Hlophe, which forbids the song "Hey Shorty" by Danny K, to be played before 9am.

As well as AFTER 9am.

Seriously though, what's going on Woolies? Do I need to buy my chicken kebabs and pork giblets somewhere else? Because I will you know. Pick 'n Pay can dish out some mean pork giblets. And their strawberries don't run off to Asoka either.

You've been warned.



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