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15 November, 2007
"Traiding" - A Verb Meaning "Acceptable
Drinking"
At Least, I HOPE That's What It Means
Whilst scratching around Woolworths in Canal Walk, looking to
haggle some red wine and paint thinners, I spotted
this lovely little sign above the chocolate liquors, which incidentally
tastes like crap.
The chocolate liquors.
Not the lovely little sign.
Why would I know what the lovely little sign tastes like? What the
f**k is wrong with you?
Seriously. You're playing the fool today, I don't know what's gotten
into you. One day of rain and now you're acting like a I took a
dump on your chest. It's not cute, get over it already.
Anyhoo, I digress, let's have another look at that lovely sign.

Wine Traiding Hours
Now this being Woolies and all, I'm not going to immediately jump
to conclusions. I mean, I COULD say that this sums up their overall
lack of quality control lately, judging by the horrible
strawberries I keep purchasing, which goes off after 36
hours. (Last week they literally jumped out the box and told me
they were heading off to Asoka for some mojitos.) Yes, I COULD say
I'm better off buying from that dodgy gangster-looking guy on the
corner of Orange Street.
But no, I'm not going to do that. He looks scary, and I'm not willing
to wet myself again.
I can thus only assume that "Traiding" is a verb meaning
"acceptable drinking" times, as that
WOULD make sense then.
As far as I'm aware, you ARE allowed to drink wine during the week
from 9 in the morning till 8pm, after which you are legally
obliged to switch to Hansa Gold for the duration of the
evening.
I do recall reading this somewhere, it could have been the Argus,
it was most likely the Mail and Guardian though.
This law is of course similar to the recent proclamation handed
down by Judge President John Hlophe, which forbids
the song "Hey Shorty" by Danny K, to be played before
9am.
As well as AFTER 9am.
Seriously though, what's going on Woolies? Do I need to buy my
chicken kebabs and pork giblets somewhere else? Because I will you
know. Pick 'n Pay can dish out some mean pork giblets. And their
strawberries don't run off to Asoka either.
You've been warned.
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